Reason #2 - He's just not that into...me.

I read this book last year and it was sensational - hysterically funny and poignant in parts, as it dissected a handful of relationship do's and don'ts. After too many coffee chats on the topic, and seeing an interview with the author on Oprah (the source of all 'good' relationship info - pls note the sarcasm) I decided to head out and see what all the fuss was about over the latest pop psych book on the enigma that is men and women.

Once you get over the Americanism's and the worldly language, the basic premise of the book is that if a guy is into you - he'll ask you out. Sounds obvious huh (the boys are thinking 'well yes') but, as the infamous Sex and The City episode also said (which is where the book came from and out of) - girls waste hours of time thinking through and trying to understand the strategies of men wondering if the guys are playing a bit of a game. We say things to each other like: he's shy/nervous/intimidated; he's getting over a bad relationship; he's busy with his job/sport/anything else... blah blah blah. The author (a straight shooting male) says that this is basically crap and that women need to realise that if a guy is really into you - he'll ask you out. That even if perhaps they are nervous, they like the challenge and will some how work out a way to try and be with you - letting no job, sport or mountain get in their way. No ifs or buts...

Actually it's a pretty liberating philosophy. There are guys that I'm either interested in romantically, or not. In no way does it lessen the way that I value them - and hopefully vice versa. Ironically (because it comes from the worlds viewpoint and not a biblical one - but on second thought maybe it's a worldly viewpoint because there is a fundamental biblical truth to it!) it also frees me up to be feminine in the way that, I think, God intended me to be. I don't have to do, question or try and read into anything because the guy who is interested, will be the one who does something about it.

Which will lead me to #3 soon...

Single for God or for good?

This weekend just gone I went on the CCSI 6:45 houseparty - the topic being "Relationships". Talks ranged from singleness, marriage, divorce and sexual purity - broad topics but the speaker (Warwick deJersey) managed to convey enough strength of conviction in the way that he spoke to see many people provoked and prodded into some serious reflections. Myself included.

But it has also given me the impetuous to write a series of posts that I've been thinking about for a while now, but have just felt a bit too self conscious about to make public. In last few months I've had a number of people ask me the question "Why are you single?". To be honest , it's surprised me that people are curious but since there are reasons (some better than others) I thought I'd put them down.

So here goes - post #1: Once bitten - twice shy

Warwick kept on using the image of superglue; that relationships are sticky and things become very raw when they get ripped apart. He was using it in specific reference to sex - but I think it goes beyond that. I think that (perhaps) God designed us to be with one person emotionally as well as sexually. That the reason why break-ups hurt so much is because they were never supposed to happen in the first place. That with each relationship that ends, a piece of you has been left behind too. And because once you've had the experience of a broken heart, it's a pain that you will go to many lengths to avoid ever happening again.

And although I have a heart that is mended, I'm cautious about who I would want to offer it to again. I like my heart - no, more than that, I value and respect it so I'm happy to wait for someone to show it the same amount of value. So that's one reason...

"Those Chili People..."

So a couple of weeks ago my 58 year old father came to me and asked if I'd heard of "these Hot Chili People". Being somewhat cluey I figured that he meant the Chili Peppers so in a bemused tone I said yes, I'd heard of them. Long story short - his company has a box at the Accer Arena meaning he gets offered tickets to all kinds of gigs. He turned these ones down because he didn't think they sounded interesting...

After seeing my aghast expression my darling daddy realised and set about rectifying his mistake. So Thursday night I'm off to the Chili's! Yeah! As off today I have the outfit (courtesy of the brilliant bec&bridge), tomorrow Tommy will work out the hair - so I'm all set for a night of fun and frivolity with my Dad. Unfortunately for him, he finds the music on mix 106.5 trying at times so I'm not too sure how he's going to cope (he's rejected my offer to listen to a CD or 2 beforehand and prefers instead to be surprised - poor little lamb has no idea what he's in for).

But I'm saving the best news of this post til last: for those who read a couple of weeks ago about my friends daughter, Gemma (with the blindness and Cerebral Palsy), I have a excellent, exiting, amazing and perhaps miraculous update. Yesterday morning the neurologists cleared her of CP - apparently the signs she has been exhibiting can be attributed to the blindness.

Praise God huh?

ETC has been and gone and it was a really great time. I've decided that from now on, the staff are going to have a champagne breakfast on the last morning to say "yeah, we got through the first semester!" There were times when I would question it... but it's all worked out in the end. More reflections about ETC will come later, but for now I have something far more important for you to read/think about and, if you're a Christian, then to ask you to pray about.


This is one of my favourite photos. I took it on April 10th 2005 within minutes of Penny and Marty saying their 'I do's". I love it - spontaneous, carefree and full of joy in the moments that have been and are to come.

Two years and one day later (ie today) saw Pen and I sitting in the New Orleans cafe in Crows Nest while Marty lies in surgery having one of his kidneys removed because of the threat of the dreaded word... cancer.


Really there are two scenarios at the moment. The first is they take out a kidney and everything will be ok. The second is that Marty's recent anaemia is a sign that the cancer is already in the kidneys. If this is the case, then the doctors have said there is nothing more they would be able to do. I can't believe that I actually have to say that, let alone that it is even the remotest of possibilities for my beloved friends.

Can you please pray that isn't going to be the outcome? That the docs really have just laid out worst case scenario because they have to?

I have to say this has been a head spinning couple of months, hence less than previously seen quantities of posts becuase it's been tough to process it all. I didn't think I could see so much hardship and suffering happening to so many people that I love all at once. It sucks not being able to take their pain away. Knowing that I'm not in control but that God, in His providence, is. It's hard.

All's not quiet on the western front...

Lack of posts over the last little while hasn't been because nothing is happening - on the contrary it's almost as though there has been too much happening - and I need a little time to process it all. And since a band aid wont fix it, I'm going to leave some time and space (and to ask friends if it's ok for me to post about them!) before making some more 'happy to be read' reflections...



In the meantime though - it's mission week at UTS. Today, students handed out 600 hot cross buns, 3000 of these postcards (inviting people to some evangelistic talks) and 5 people said that they wanted to join small groups to learn more about Jesus... not bad for a Monday morning huh?