Little update - I can't sleep. So I've added photos and stories to the flickr.

There are too many conversations from the last 24hrs that have been swirling around in my head. Words like vulnerability, open-ness, clarity and communication have opened up an old can of worms and as I've been trying to process them all I've been listening to some of my favourite reminiscent songs. These are the words to one of them:

"Special Ones" - George
Isn't it funny how you never really screamed at my face,
but your anger so unspoken and unchannelled
permeates my essence to the point where I,
don't want to see you hear you, be anywhere near you,
You probably think I'm threatened by you
but your illusionary power doesn't threaten me,
Actually I think it's kind of funny that you create an illusion that is a mirror,
I don't appreciate you and I know that that surprises you
I suppose you see that those who follow their heart always win,
those with integrity have won the match before it's begun.

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

Some can see beyond the barrier of threshold whereas others can't see beyond their sculptured mould,
you could offer me nothing, you could offer me nothing that I need
Do you think I'm asking too much?
A kind of respect and trust that shouldn't even be questioned,
how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me?
I've honoured your honour to the point of embarrassment,
but innocence in the hands of the guilt-free is kicked to, is kicked to the curb
I was ashamed of my innocence,
I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bullshit is just not worthy of me

I don't want to be angry...

This is not worthy of me
and now with clarity I see
that I can walk away,
I can walk away.

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my bases first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me.
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Do you think that someone who writes those kinds of words will ever let barriers down? Can the rest of us?