Reason # 4 - If I'm picky enough about my shoes...
I'll admit it, I have a shoe fetish. It's been inherited and cultivated over the years through my mother. Generally speaking, they need to be functional (doesn't always mean practical though), to be feminine and have the spunk and personality to go with the outfit. It may not always be obvious from what I wear to uni, but I'm picky about my shoes. So if I'm going to be picky about my shoes - then how much more so about a relationship? Not any old shoe will fit - so why do we try and make relationships?
I don't want it to seem too much of a contrast from reason #3, but my grandparents can supply an answer to reason 4 for singleness: I want a part of what they have in a relationship - and I'll wait until I get it. While spending some time with my Nan a couple of weeks ago, she told me the stories of their early courtship. They met briefly at a wedding of a mutual friend in 1940. Two weeks later, being unable to get her out of his head, my grandfather went and borrowed a dog so that he could walk it up and down her street until he could 'bump into her'. During the war, they wrote to each other every day and over the 65 years that they have now been married their adoration for each other has only grown.
Not too long ago, I met a woman who (in the face of recently beginning to date someone) told me that there comes a time when you have to realise that there isn't going to be a guy who models for country road and wants to do mission. I was horrified. On two levels really: firstly that she would have such a superficial understanding about a relationship - but also that she was so determined just to be married that she would 'settle' for anyone who wanted to marry her.
Now I may be a romantic, but I'm not an idealist. It's not (repeat not) that I am waiting for some Mr Perfect - but I know myself, what I want to give and receive in a relationship. And I also know that I don't want to 'settle' because I know that a marriage takes more commitment than that. So for me, a part of my singleness comes from the fact I'm patient enough to wait for someone that I can offer the best of myself to, and vice versa.
Shoes need to fit properly - who willingly asks for blisters?
posted by jodi @ 9:58 pm
8 Comments:
At 1:56 pm,
Anonymous said…
"a part of my singleness comes from the fact I'm patient enough to wait for someone that I can offer the best of myself to, and vice versa."
now that is the best reason for singleness ive heard in a while - nice one jodi! keep to that will you! its beautiful!
At 2:12 pm,
Anonymous said…
Jodi, the story of your Grandparents' is the most beautiful one I have heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing - it's encouraging. Amen to not 'settling' and waiting for God's best for you.
Love B
At 2:42 pm,
Lachlan Payne said…
And now for something controversial:
I think the line between "not settling" and "waiting for some Mr. Perfect" is very easily blurred.
At least that is the perspective of a once single Christian guy.
At 8:53 pm,
jodi said…
Lachlan I'll go you one step further; the reason why the line is often blurred is because some people, some girls, are dumb - and far too easily swayed by hollywood.
Here's another story for the dedicated comment readers:
My sister met her (now) husband, Andy, when she was 16. They were at high school together and her locker was under his. Andy was a shy young teenager and couldn't figure out a way to introduce himself to her... his solution? One afternoon he plucked up the courage - and promptly (deliberately) dropped his texts books on her head. I guess he figured that you have to met someone when you have to apologise to them.
And yeah, they've been together ever since too. Honestly, what some guys will do...
At 9:06 pm,
Lachlan Payne said…
That is an awesome story.
It's nice to know that sometimes it pays to be clumsy and awkward.
At 7:37 pm,
Martin Kemp said…
Here's a question:
How easy is it to transfer the story of your grandparents to people today? I'm sure our culture has placed more demands on what we look for in a relationship. If your grandparents were doing it all again in the here and now, would it be the same? Possibly not. Perhaps we are more fussy than earlier generations cause our culture points us in a more fussy kind of direction.
Should we just flow with it? I mean to suddenly become less fussy might mean going against the grain in a way which just can't work in the here and now.
Interesting...
At 1:48 pm,
Anonymous said…
Nothing says 'I like you' like potential injury. I think the story of Jodi's grandparents would be even more special today... I'd like to think that kind of romance is timeless. But there's something about your more/less fussy idea that doesn't Quite sit with me, Martin. I'll think some more. (I know we don't know each other, but I thought your comment was interesting. Hope you don't mind.)
Jodi - can you please elaborate on your Hollywood theory? My understanding is that you're saying Hollywood is projecting/validating an untrue idea about Mr Perfects? (i.e. that they exist and that it's therefore ok to wait for one?)
At 8:58 pm,
jodi said…
Fiddle-de-de! Martin Kemp (you know I only use full names when I'm somewhat cranky...) Less fussy then? More fussy now? May it never be! No, what I think is going on in today's society/culture is that we are far less patient and so instead of sticking to a commitment we move on to the next 'feeling'.
We have become more transitory beings but I don't think that changes the fundamentals of what people have, and will continue to look for in a relationship; trust, fun, commitment, security... i think those characteristics may just be expressing themselves in different ways (mind you if anything there does seem to be more clarity in my grandparents generation about how to go about "gettin' the gal" as my pop would say).
And AJ - what I meant by the Hollywood reference was more along the idea of perpetuating the myth that there is one 'perfect' person out there for you, one perfect person to complete or fulfil you. Absolute twaddle....
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