a little rant...
Another seemingly wasted day in a hospital waiting room (that was most of last Thursday too). Now my arm is in a cast - for a few hours today it was in a full cast, then they changed their minds so now half of it is.
But here is my real thought for today: where are all the gentlemen? Is chivalry really dead? Catching the train home this afternoon was a bit of an eye-opener. There I was (rather obviously in pain) fat cast poking out of a big blue sling and struggling to hold on to my bag. On the train and looking for a seat in a full carriage when I spotted two guys, legs sprawled out over two seats, which of course would be the only ones left... I pondered what to do for a minute as I was trying not to lose my balance while these young punks just stared at me. Fed up I gave in to impatience and said "do you think that you could make room?" they actually grunted at me before one of them relented and moved over.
what's going on? Are guys afraid of treating girls like girls? Where are the opening of doors? Getting up so little old ladies (or pregnant women or girls in a cast) can have a seat? Will the real men of this world please stand up and be gentlemen?!
But here is my real thought for today: where are all the gentlemen? Is chivalry really dead? Catching the train home this afternoon was a bit of an eye-opener. There I was (rather obviously in pain) fat cast poking out of a big blue sling and struggling to hold on to my bag. On the train and looking for a seat in a full carriage when I spotted two guys, legs sprawled out over two seats, which of course would be the only ones left... I pondered what to do for a minute as I was trying not to lose my balance while these young punks just stared at me. Fed up I gave in to impatience and said "do you think that you could make room?" they actually grunted at me before one of them relented and moved over.
what's going on? Are guys afraid of treating girls like girls? Where are the opening of doors? Getting up so little old ladies (or pregnant women or girls in a cast) can have a seat? Will the real men of this world please stand up and be gentlemen?!
posted by jodi @ 6:35 pm
14 Comments:
At 10:47 pm,
Anonymous said…
I blame feminism.
Problem is, nowadays when we try to do something chivalrous half the time we get laughed at, and half the time we get abused.
Sad but true.
And don't assume that the way two young punks act is the way we all act.
At 10:50 pm,
Anonymous said…
Heya Jodi...
you've forced my hand into releasing a few of my unformed and largely nonsensical thoughts on chivalry...
We have nothing to lose but our pansy-ness...
At 11:06 pm,
Anonymous said…
oh dear.
jodi, i was going to wait until thursday to tell you this (it was going to be really fun, seriously), but after reading this post about your injured self, subsequent pain and frustration re 'the YOOTH of today' [sic], i have been struck down with an attack of the guilts.
why? i just sent you a msg 'thanking' you for the prayer points from wednesday's small group that have not yet appeared in my inbox... please note -- i really was esteeming you in love when i wrote this, but forgot that your arm has been temporarily rendered... inefficient in some facets of living (such as typing long prayer points from small group).
i now feel terribly inconsiderate and insensitive and wish to apologise profusely for sending that msg -- even disguising my identity couldn't stop my conscience from slowly trying to erode my soul. (i am actually being sincere, if not somewhat melodramatic.)
in light of this, jodi, i have to tell you -- i am ms. anonymous.
alex :)
ps -- i also blame feminism. the bra burning went too far.
At 11:09 pm,
jodi said…
i know lachlan - it is sad that girls do jump on guys when they try and do nice things. we should blame feminism - it has a lot to answer for...
and it does just make me appreciate the good ones all the more!
look foward to reading your thoughts joel!
At 11:16 pm,
jodi said…
ALEX!!! welcome! i never would have guessed it was you. and never fear - all is good. i smiled to myself when i got your sms (a little ruefully) - those prayer points will get sent out!
At 11:46 pm,
Anonymous said…
i know -- i am the master of disguise. :-| but i am glad i no longer have to use capitalisation when blogging. and ruefully? no! "i was like, totally joking!" (american accent optional.) just get better, hey? and stay away from public transport.
alex :)
At 12:33 am,
Anonymous said…
I'm loth to defend my sex, cause on the whole guys really do suck. These days, the chivalrous ones are often the ones you have to watch out for, cause they have alterior motives.
You know, if girls didn't need things retrieved from top shelves, or new water cooler bottles replaced, I would say that they should get rid of guys all together!
At 9:43 am,
Anonymous said…
jodi you're right, its all about appreciating the good ones even more hehe! And never fear, there are good ones still around...
At 3:44 pm,
jodi said…
read joel's thoughts ("j") if you want a guys perspective - pretty interesting and insightful
At 5:23 pm,
Camel said…
Hmmm thats crapola Jodi. I believe i am a reasonably chivalrous guy. But as Lunch said, you get comments and stuff which makes u more reluctant to do it. And yes...there are always alterior motives when i do it. Hmmm. Maybe not. Just a habit...
honestly....kids these days...
At 6:06 pm,
Anonymous said…
I have acutaully contemplated pretending to be pregnant so i can get a seat on a train or bus...but that wouldn't work. pregnant women (even up to 9mnths!!) are almost always forced to stand while lazy 40 something year old business men (its not always the youth)take up all the seats for no good reason! they're not pregnant, injurred, reading or juggling a laptop...they're just sitting there, doing nothing!and its even worse when they just stare at the pregnant woman!!!! grrrrr
btw, did u try calling me today jodi???
At 8:18 pm,
Di said…
All this reminds me of a teachers debate we had at school, the topic: "Chivalry is Dead"- where the female teachers were the negative against the male teachers. At a private all-girls catholic school this proved to be highly amusing. The male teachers won.
My mum often recounts the story of when she was 6 months pregnant with me and standing on the train home from Strathfield. No one offered her a seat, and this was 20 years ago...
It's true, genuine chivarly is hard to come by these days, however I don't think it is dead yet. I've been fortunate enough to see sincere chivalry come naturally from some of my close friends (though perhaps they are the minority).
And as for those two punks, I think you did the right thing. Cast or no cast, they should have made room for you.
At 10:52 pm,
Anonymous said…
quite an interesting debate! I was asked by Mr Joel last night what I thought about chivalry... seems I have come to the place that inspired those questions. On the train point... do you think that there are some train lines with more chivalrous than others. I mean, on the mountains train, it is quite a long trip, I see gentlemen offering elderly people seats quite often...
At 6:53 am,
Justin said…
I'm back to a commuting world. First time since Uni, which was --- like 50 years ago.
I see men and women always getting up for the infirmed, pregnant and otherwise disabled.
What is not happening -- that may have happened in a day gone by -- is the idea that a male always gives up his seat for a woman. [ie no woman standing while there is a male seated.]
Chivalry may well then be dead. But I'm not sure that kindness in the face of adversity is completely gone.
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