"I'm not me anymore. At least, I'm not the me I was"

This one of the last lines in "Motorcycle Diaries" which I watched for the first time tonight. I've wanted to see it for a long time - so I figured that since I had to be at home on a Saturday night to finish off a seminar paper on contentment (oh the irony...) I'd have it on whilst I worked away. Silly, naive little girl....

It was about 2 mins into the movie before I abandoned the seminar. I was entranced.
From the beginning it had appeal and resonance. Since 1997 I haven't really settled down to anything for anymore that two years at a time. Could just be circumstantial, but some would call it boredom, some wanderlust...discontentment.... either way, the idea of packing up and heading off into the unknown to learn more about who I am and what my place is in the world always holds appeal - so watching it vicariously through two Latino Americans seemed a pretty easy given.

True to life, as the movie unfolded so did the complexity of what was revealed to us about the two men and the world in which they lived. I think 'gritty' would be a good word to describe the movie as a whole. There were times that I was uncomfortable watching it. The raw nakedness of their discontentment - their frustration, confusion, anger and inner-turmoil was only made easier by glimpses of humour with their accidents and by the grace that was shown as they started to really see who they were, and the men that they wanted to become, and reflected in the eyes of the people that they were serving (in particular with the lepers on the island - which is also the scene that this photo comes from as the guys embrace life and what it's offering them at that point in time).

Where is the irony I hear you ask? mmm ok, maybe it's just me, but it seems to me that the whole movie is about gaining contentment (through adventure, sexual expression, money, social status etc). And you know what I think - they never actually get there...

So - big question, how do I 'get' contentment? Are there times when it is right and wrong to be discontent? I think that it's right to be discontent when it's being discontent with your own ungodliness/sin or that of others. Not in an arrogantly judgmental way, but in the way that knows that this life isn't as it should be, and that as fallen sinful human beings we don't live our lives the way that we should - and we want better. We want restoration. We want heaven. And if we don't, then I think we have a pretty low view of what God wants to offer us. Perhaps contentment is really just trusting that through no matter what, God does want (and offers) better for His people - and so we are content with the day to day drudgery knowing that the banquet awaits. Or is that too simplistic?

The boys on the bike leave home because they're unsatisfied with what their experience of life is thus far, and are looking for the world and what it has to offer them. I know what the world wants to offer - and I know that it isn't good enough for me without Jesus in the picture.

But for all that - watch the movie! I loved it, and if nothing else, it'll get you thinking.